By Samuel KWIZERA
When you look back, you never get ashamed of the past instead you become so happy that through it you grew up to be a very important person you are today. The past is the past, you can’t change it but take time and think of the reasons that cause you to do what you do today!
My testimony may be so emotional to some people. The reason why I walk outside to watch as it rains.
I love those moments in life when you come to realize the reason why you do what you do today. Now, I would like to share with you what came out of those memorable moments.
Growing up, I found myself and my family members in a house built right in front of a section where the run off from the trench of Kayonza met before they could be directed to a place far from home. The house which I and my family were living in wasn’t built to resist the water that would overflow from the trenches heading home. The cost to build another house was too high, or the infrastructure to counter that wasn’t available at the moment and I had to live with that.
To make this more visual for you, I vividly remember a day when it rained at night and the water from the trenches came into our house. So, my mother woke us up but the truth is I wasn’t even sleeping because I was terrified with what was happening. Then, we removed the mattress and sheet from the bed and folded them. She took a table and told my sister and me to sit on the table. The reason why she did this was that the waters couldn’t rise to a point where we could sink. Since the water would rise to a point of coming close to the windows and like a good parent she wouldn’t want to lose us due to that.
This situation created in me some emotions of helplessness, shame and fear. I always wished to see that change but what would an eight old kid (me) do? All I had to do was to pray and ask God, our heavenly father for a change. The response to my plea did not occur as I wished, it took long time. As I grew up, I kept feeling helpless, shame and fearful because of this. The situation at home would even come to my mind whenever it rained when I was at school. The sound of rain would distract my mind, I would start to think about my home imagining how many home utensils, books would be washed by the waters, and how I would come to a compound full of the stagnant waters. I would think of how I will have to remove the shoes arrive home, get a basin and join others to drain the house and compound of the water.
When I was 13, I started realizing that this wasn’t good at all, and it came to pass when I changed the view of how I used to recall the situation at home. Unlike previous imagination, when I was at school and it started raining, I felt an urge to go outside to watch the rain and ignore the thoughts about the damage at home and prayed that the God who stopped the rain during Noah’s time could do the same to us.
Today, I have grown. The small town of Kayonza is developed, and our house has been successfully renovated, some people may be curious to know how I feel when it rains today! Is the feeling of helplessness, shame and fear still has room in me? Not really.
God has done a lot in me and I have realized that the past wasn’t my mistake and I could not change anything about it.
Narrating the story of my past publicly shows how strong I am today.
What happens when it rains today? Why do I need to go out?
Some years back, I used to go out as a result of trauma but today when it rains I go out with a thankful heart that no more worries about damage of materials at home.
I hope my story helps you believe that God can turn your grief into tears of Joy. Believe Him and He will do it at the right time. When you look back, never get ashamed of the past instead, become so happy that through it you grew up to be a very important person you are today. The past is the past, you can’t change it but take time and think of the reasons that cause you to do what you do today!